My life story paying it forward discover your inner desire. This site is designed for all community driven persons to express ideas and thoughts to discuss topics of paying it forward.
Readers will hopefully explore inner most desires of how to pay it forward to those close to you and the surrounding community. In return, to help others discover how to pay it forward.
You are a pebble that will create the ripple effect. You may, or may not see the fruits produced. But if you have a pure heart’s motive to serve and expecting nothing in return, then that really shouldn’t matter. There are some who believe there people will only do to receive.I disagree.
MY LIFE STORY
My life story paying it forward discover my inner desire, began in Plattsburgh, New York. The fourth out of seven kids. I have two brothers and four sisters.
At that time, my dad was in the Air Force. So, we were all born in different states. His duty required him to travel quite a bit and, this left my mother to basically raise six of us on her own, ( youngest born years later).
She was a very strong and courageous woman taking on the roles of both dad and mother and took each role very seriously. She performed well in both roles. Sadly, she passed away after ten plus years of health issues in 1999.
Eventually, dad was stationed in Washington state and the travel time for him ceased but, he then worked other jobs as well as his military duties in order to support his family. He was and is a good dad.
Once relocated in Washington, four of us were of school age. My older brother and I were in kindergarten together. As it were, the teacher asked random questions and listened to answers, but my being an introvert, crippled me from interacting. NO ONE DINES ALONE
THE OTHER KIDS
The other kids, including my brother eagerly answered the questions asked by our teacher but, when I was asked a question directly, my brother answered for me. I now believe she saw something in me that needed addressing.
When it came to less structured activities, my brother was there to make sure I completed the tasks with all the class. He understood I would complete the task not at the timing of the teacher. Little did we know, at that time, the teacher was observing all of the interactions.
I WAS FUNCTIONALLY DYSFUNCTIONAL
I was functionally dysfunctional and if it weren’t for my brother’s help, I don’t know what I would’ve done. If my brother’s thoughts were inward instead of outward, then that teacher wouldn’t have helped me by suggesting I repeat kindergarten the next year to learn to do things on my own.
At the beginning of the next school year, I was in kindergarten and my brother advanced to first grade. I felt helpless and alone, but managed to make it through.
After completing kindergarten, my grade school years were spent in parochial schools grades 1-8. The teachers wore the full uniform that the nuns were required to wear back in those days.
We as students wore the blue shirt and salt-n-pepper chords for the boys. The girls wore white shirts with the red and black plaid skirts, hems below the knee.
Quite honestly, those were and are some fond memories for me. It was a time of genuine innocence. It was also a safe place of learning and interacting and respecting each other including our differences. We learned to value the property of others and giving each other respect along with many other aspects of living.
My dad, still in the military, had to report to the base earlier than the start of the school day. He dropped us off at the back entrance which led to the playground.
We spent many mornings there before the start classes. Sometimes, the lunchroom staff let us in to the cafeteria until the sisters finished morning prayer and unlocked the school. We then entered the building to enter our assigned classrooms.
I WAS MISCHIEVOUS
I was mischievous at times. If I were to let you believe that every day was full of joy and peace and every morning was exactly the same in the routine, then I would be lying. There were those days of non-conformity.
I remember a morning when I placed a tack on the teacher’s chair before she entered the room. There were a couple other students present who witnessed my activity. I don’t know why I did it, I believe it was because she was a grump who never smiled.
After I placed the tack on her chair, I sat at my desk feared what would happen and having second thoughts. By the time I decided to remove the tack, she entered the room.
THIS MORNING OF ALL MORNINGS
This morning of all mornings, the teacher appeared to be grumpier than she had ever been in the past. She entered the class room casually dressed, rigid from the winter air, walked to her desk, pulled her chair out and sat down at her desk.
For a moment, I thought she was going to scream but, she didn’t. I had hoped the tack had somehow fallen off of her chair. But then, her face slowly turned a little pinker in color as she gazed out toward the back wall, over the heads of the students in front of her.
She very gently readjusted her self in her chair as if to get off of the tack. I started to feel bad about what I had done.
AFTER WHAT SEEMED AN ETERNITY
After what seemed like an eternity, she pushed her chair back, stood up and turned to the blackboard and began the lesson for the day without making mention of what just happened. I saw the tack fall away as she turned to the blackboard. I was both disappointed and relieved.
After about two hours, we were excused for recess and apparently, during that time, one of the other students who had witnessed my actions, reported me to the teacher.
THE BELL RANG
The bell rang. As I re-entered the school, I was greeted by my teacher with an invitation to the principal’s office. The fear quickly returned because I had not ever seen the inside of this office before.
I received a hack with the wooden paddle after a brief discussion. I previously heard stories about “the paddle”. It was larger than described and, I didn’t realize a nun could swat so hard!
I RETURNED TO CLASS
I returned to class, too embarrassed to look at anyone, especially the teacher. As I gently sat back at my desk, I thought of how the day started and wished I could start again. Needless to say, that was the last of my placing tacks on chairs.
After eight years of private schools, the beginning of my high school life brought drastic change! I entered the public school system. A realm unheard of and very unfamiliar to me. I was taken out of my comfort zone and all I was accustomed to and thought to be the “norm”.
START OF HIGH SCHOOL
The start of high school was literally a culture shock to me! At the age of thirteen, I believed that every person on the planet, was a Catholic! Everybody knew what I knew, learned what I learned and, believed the way I believed! I had never really experienced life outside of the private schools. It was a sheltered life!
I had no idea of how to work a combination lock, so for a few weeks, I carried my books everywhere I went. The looks I got when I carried my books to lunch where all the other kids hung out. If that wasn’t bad enough, the looks and reactions of those kids when I was shocked at the language I heard and turned to my friend and asked, “Did you hear what they said?!?”
FINDING A FLOW
Eventually, I became accustomed to my new environment. I wanted to fit in and be accepted, so I started hanging out with the “wrong” crowd.
Even tho I excelled in sports, It wasn’t fulfilling for me. This led to some poor choices which followed me after high school as well, but thank GOD I have ran away from those dark, dead end paths!
MY HOPES OF THIS SITE
I hope that after joining my site, that people of all walks of life will see the importance of who they are and you have something to offer-YOU! That you didn’t come across my site by accident, something you saw or read reignited oppressed passions.
It’s not too late, it’s just the beginning. You have a purpose. You are relevant and have something to say and do for yourself and others!
For those who are already doing what is in their heart to serve others, my hope is that you will find inspiration when you feel weak, and as you create a ripple that you too receive of the ripple effect and always put others before you!
In closing, as mentioned from the start, my life story is about paying it forward to discover inner desires. This site is a safe place to be an open book.
To cast off the fears of life and to be who you were created to be. It is NOT the intent for you to develop my thoughts but, for you to be creative in expressing your inner most thoughts and emotions for your self and more importantly, for others that may cross your path and whose situation or circumstances far outweigh our own. To meet others where they are at helping them to meet their need.
If you ever need a hand or have any questions, feel free to leave them below and I will be more than happy to help you out.
GOD bless you,